If we are constantly chasing or building our ideal self, and that idea of the ideal self keeps on changing. And if we are not yet that ideal self, who really are we?? When will the satisfaction stop?
Love this post Kylee!!! It reminds me of this book I read a few years ago called The Burnout Society by Byung-Chul Han. I truly don't remember the specifics but parts of what you were saying here made me think of the overall ideas in this book. Specifically, the parts you'd mentioned about wanting *more*.
I do remember Han making a distinction between a discipline society and an achievement society, and that today, our world tends to fall into the category of the achievement society. I think these ideas might explain themselves a little bit based off the names, but I remember really enjoying the book!! (It's short which definitely helped me feel some sort of achievement quite quickly lol).
Anyways like I said loved the post! I've definitely been feeling that sort of aimless part of life creeping up, and it's definitely anxiety inducing to not know exactly what's next.
Human desire is bottomless. I struggle with the idea that without milestones to chase, life lacks purpose; yet, I find it nearly impossible to actually live in the moment. Even though I know life isn’t always a box of chocolates, I’m constantly living in the essence of a future happiness that hasn't happened yet. By treating the present as just a waiting room for my next achievement, I’m missing the life I’m actually living."
But knowing all these things is there any code to live a moment genuinely?
There's quite a subtle (felt) difference between making a change out of discontent and making a change out of common sense.
One is resistant, the other is surrendered..
As children, we seem to start from the surrendered way: we have dreams, ideals (and we don't really have an issue with our current self - in fact, at that age we don't even have more than one self) and blindly believe that adults did already. Only to find ourselves slowly building resistance.
The change seems so subtle, we still believe it to be an ideal.
Wow. great post, kylee. very thoughtful, i might add.
i specifically liked the last lines, "That in the pursuit of becoming a more ideal version of ourselves, we’ve become convinced our lives won't begin until we become it. ", and that happens. and now that i read this post, i notice it more and more.
and at this point you're not sure what to do. should you be happy with what you are right now, resulting that you are self satisfied and happy, or should you constantly be striving for the better, improving yourself, and hence actually reaching your potential? it's funny but at the same time frustrating.
thankyou for sharing this piece, i loved it, and i remain, truly yours,
I really loved this piece Kylee! This paragraph especially:
"I’ve been wondering whether there is a difference between growing as a person and treating yourself as a perpetual work in progress. Whether there is a point where self-improvement quietly becomes self-rejection. Whether some of us have become so focused on becoming someone else that we’ve forgotten how to belong to the person already here."
As someone who would fit the profile of a 'constant improvement' personality, I have found there definitely does need to be a balance of being who I am now, and working towards a future version.
There have definitely been times in my life where I have been too focused on the future and where I need to improve and who I'm becoming that I don't allow myself to feel proud of where I am or find joy in this place because those goalposts are always moving.
It’s hard to not to! It’s exciting and rewarding to work towards improvement, and I think that’s what society in general pushes us to do. But also missing out on life if we’re too focused. We get stuck suspended between the two. I completely relate
I had so much realisation reading this.
If we are constantly chasing or building our ideal self, and that idea of the ideal self keeps on changing. And if we are not yet that ideal self, who really are we?? When will the satisfaction stop?
This article is beautifully written
It’s an endless thought!! It’s good to have goals but how can we become more if we don’t know who we are now??
Love this post Kylee!!! It reminds me of this book I read a few years ago called The Burnout Society by Byung-Chul Han. I truly don't remember the specifics but parts of what you were saying here made me think of the overall ideas in this book. Specifically, the parts you'd mentioned about wanting *more*.
I do remember Han making a distinction between a discipline society and an achievement society, and that today, our world tends to fall into the category of the achievement society. I think these ideas might explain themselves a little bit based off the names, but I remember really enjoying the book!! (It's short which definitely helped me feel some sort of achievement quite quickly lol).
Anyways like I said loved the post! I've definitely been feeling that sort of aimless part of life creeping up, and it's definitely anxiety inducing to not know exactly what's next.
Human desire is bottomless. I struggle with the idea that without milestones to chase, life lacks purpose; yet, I find it nearly impossible to actually live in the moment. Even though I know life isn’t always a box of chocolates, I’m constantly living in the essence of a future happiness that hasn't happened yet. By treating the present as just a waiting room for my next achievement, I’m missing the life I’m actually living."
But knowing all these things is there any code to live a moment genuinely?
There's quite a subtle (felt) difference between making a change out of discontent and making a change out of common sense.
One is resistant, the other is surrendered..
As children, we seem to start from the surrendered way: we have dreams, ideals (and we don't really have an issue with our current self - in fact, at that age we don't even have more than one self) and blindly believe that adults did already. Only to find ourselves slowly building resistance.
The change seems so subtle, we still believe it to be an ideal.
An ideal, turning itself into an illusion...
Agreed! Childhood has such a big impact on our lives later on
Wow. great post, kylee. very thoughtful, i might add.
i specifically liked the last lines, "That in the pursuit of becoming a more ideal version of ourselves, we’ve become convinced our lives won't begin until we become it. ", and that happens. and now that i read this post, i notice it more and more.
and at this point you're not sure what to do. should you be happy with what you are right now, resulting that you are self satisfied and happy, or should you constantly be striving for the better, improving yourself, and hence actually reaching your potential? it's funny but at the same time frustrating.
thankyou for sharing this piece, i loved it, and i remain, truly yours,
vaughan.
Yes! It leaves us stuck floating in this middle ground and that can be so hard. I think you can want both and neither at the same time
I really loved this piece Kylee! This paragraph especially:
"I’ve been wondering whether there is a difference between growing as a person and treating yourself as a perpetual work in progress. Whether there is a point where self-improvement quietly becomes self-rejection. Whether some of us have become so focused on becoming someone else that we’ve forgotten how to belong to the person already here."
As someone who would fit the profile of a 'constant improvement' personality, I have found there definitely does need to be a balance of being who I am now, and working towards a future version.
There have definitely been times in my life where I have been too focused on the future and where I need to improve and who I'm becoming that I don't allow myself to feel proud of where I am or find joy in this place because those goalposts are always moving.
It’s hard to not to! It’s exciting and rewarding to work towards improvement, and I think that’s what society in general pushes us to do. But also missing out on life if we’re too focused. We get stuck suspended between the two. I completely relate